?Editing the Essay, Part 1
Anyone who has gone through the ecstasies and agonies of creating an essay knows the satisfaction (and often times the sadness) of finishing. Once you've done all the get the job done of figuring out what you would like to say, arriving at an arguable and interesting thesis, analyzing your evidence, organizing your ideas, and contending with counter-arguments, you may sense that you've got nothing left to do but run spell-check, print it out and await your professor's response. But what spell- check can't discern is what real readers will probably think or think when they check out your essay: where they would probably become confused, or annoyed, or bored, or distracted. Anticipating those responses is the job of an editor-the job you take on as you edit your personal function.
As you proceed, remember that typically what may seem to be a minimal problem can mask (be a symptom of) a larger one particular. A poorly-worded phrase-one that appears, say, unclear or vague-may just must have some tweaking to fix; nevertheless it may indicate that your thinking hasn't developed fully yet, that you're not rather sure what you should say. Your language may be vague or confusing due to the fact the idea itself is. So learning, as Yeats says, to "cast a cold eye" on your prose isn't just a matter of arranging the finishing touches on your essay. It's about making your essay more suitable from the inside (clarifying and deepening your ideas and insights) and from the outside the house (expressing those ideas in powerful, lucid, graceful prose). These 5 guidelines can help.
1. Look at your essay aloud. When we labor over sentences, we can often lose sight for the larger picture, of how all the sentences sound when they're browse through rather quickly 1 after the opposite, as your readers will examine them. Any time you learn aloud, your ear will pick up several of the problems your eye might just miss.
As you browse through your essay, remember the "The Princess in addition to the Pea," the story of the princess so sensitive she was bothered by only one pea buried beneath the pile of mattresses she lay upon. As an editor, you should be like the princess-highly alert to anything that looks slightly odd or "off" on your prose. So if something strikes you as problematic, don't gloss over it. Investigate to uncover the nature in the problem. Chances are, if something bothers you a tiny, it will bother your readers a lot.
two. Make sure all of your words are doing important job in making your argument. Are all of your words and phrases necessary? Or are they just taking up house? Are your sentences tight and sharp, or are they loose and dull? Don't say in three sentences what you can actually say in a single, and don't use 14 words where 5 will do. You like every word into your sentence to insert as a lot meaning and inflection as probable. As soon as you see phrases like "My possess personal opinion," ask yourself what "own personal" adds. Isn't that what "my" will mean?
Even tiny, apparently unimportant words like "says" are worth your attention. Instead of "says," could you utilize a word like argues, acknowledges, contends, believes, reveals, suggests, or statements? Words like these not only make your sentences extra lively and interesting, they supply useful particulars: in the event you tell your readers that someone "acknowledges" something, that deepens their understanding of how or why he or she says that thing; "said" merely reports.
3. Keep in mind the concept of le mot juste . Always try to get the perfect words, essentially the most precise and unique language, to say what you mean. Without by using concrete, clear language, you can't convey to your readers exactly what you think about a subject; you could only speak in generalities, and every body has previously heard those: "The evils of society are a drain on our resources." Sentences like this could mean so several things that they stop up meaning nothing in anyway to your readers-or meaning something very different from what you intended. Be precise: What evils? Which societies? What resources? Your readers are reading your words to see what you think, what you must say.
If you're having trouble putting your finger on just the right word, consult a thesaurus, but only to remind yourself of your possible choices. Never choose words whose connotations or usual contexts you don't really understand. By means of language you're unfamiliar with can lead to a great deal more imprecision-and that can lead your reader to question your authority.
four. Beware of inappropriately elevated language-words and phrases that are stilted, pompous, or jargony. At times, in an effort to sound way more reliable or authoritative, or far more sophisticated, we puff up our prose with this sort of language. Usually we only conclude up sounding like we're trying to sound smart-which is mostly a sure sign to our readers that we're not. If you should come across yourself inserting words or phrases considering that you think they'll sound impressive, reconsider. If your ideas are suitable, you don't demand to strain for impressive language; if they're not, that language won't help anyway.
Inappropriately elevated language can result from nouns being applied as verbs. Most parts of speech purpose better-more elegantly-when they engage in the roles they have been meant to perform; nouns show results effectively as nouns and verbs as verbs. Study the following sentences aloud, and listen to how pompous they sound.
He exited the room. It is important that proponents and opponents of this bill dialogue about its contents before voting on it.
Exits and dialogues show results much better as nouns and there are plenty of ways of expressing those ideas without turning nouns into verbs.
He left the room. People should discussion the pros and cons of this bill before voting.
Every now and then, though, this can be a rule worth breaking, as in "He muscled his way to the front from the line." "Muscled" gives us a lot of intel which may otherwise take several words or even sentences to express. And considering that it's not awkward to look at, but lively and descriptive, readers won't mind the temporary shift in roles as "muscle" becomes a verb.
5. Be tough on your most dazzling sentences. As you revise, you may realize that sentences you needed in earlier drafts no longer belong-and these may be the sentences you're most fond of. We're all guilty of trying to sneak in our favorite sentences where they don't belong, simply because we can't bear to cut them. But effective writers are ruthless and will throw out brilliant lines if they're no longer relevant or necessary. They know that readers will be less struck by the brilliance than by the inappropriateness of those sentences and they let them go.
Copyright 1999, Kim Cooper, to the Composing Center at Harvard University
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